IN THE MIND OF A COMIC ARTIST: SONGs OF MY SHAME... SILLY ME WRITING!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

SONGs OF MY SHAME... SILLY ME WRITING!

Personally... today is a very special day to me. Not to anyone else but me alone... it's Blue Moon thing. I'm 35 years old & I'm what they called 'The Most Influential Youth', 'The Legend', 'The Icon' & 'The Most Inspirational Being' for the comic industry nowadays. Not that I don't appreciate it, but since my mother passed away, none of that mean a thing to me but I'll take those as compliments that will be forgotten one day, I assumed. It's like complimentary passes! Passed...

So seems today is my special day, the full moon thing has make the cosmic power urged my heart to not miss anyone at all or deeply in love... it started yesterday & got even more convinced by a friend who said "Will you please stop thinking about someone who never thought of you? You're pathetic!" Guess what? I believe him, I'm pathetic but yet being pathetic was what made me all 'The..." in the industry. But again, I won't give up on this feeling but I will give up missing the person. Remembrance? As long I'm not amnesic, yes, looking at the photos will make me smile again or otherwise.

But once again, You'll never know! Just like Gillian Owens in 'Practical Magic'... I'm not so lucky with love. Though I thought I did like what Sally Owens did, made a wish for a true lover by making petals flew in the wind straight to the sky up to the blue moon. I thought it came true when exactly I've already had it at the age 13! Or maybe I'm exactly Julianne Porter in 'My Best Friend's Wedding' who in the end have to accept, my best friend is no more than that. Heh... girls thang! O-Wait!!! I'm a boy... I forgot, but you know what? As I said... You'll never know. Stupidity has become the brilliant upbringing for most of us today when it comes to love.

So... today I went off for a jog & as usual my MP3 player is a must. Today I had a new collection of songs, the 80s I picked up from my brother's mini laptop. So I jog, the collection was great & I enjoyed my long run until at a point I broke to tears when this song came next to my ears, 'Careless Whisper' by brother-gay, George Michael. The song damn hit me good! To good that I didn't realized I'm in the middle of public area. Thank God it happened at a hidden area up the hill where I saw pigs & monkeys everywhere (but not today).

My point is... fellows, you don't know what hit you until it hits you bad. So I had my run, I stumbled, fell deep, broke down to tears & what can I say... I just walked after that. Being pointless, still in love yet nothing but... 'Hopelessly In Love' by Olivia Newton-John.

So what's next? I just want to run again & listen to more love songs but next time I will try to shack (exactly... shake! Ouch!) hands with strangers without looking in the eyes... I should look between his/her eyes. Heh... That will make me look funny isn't it? But I guess it is far better than looking good to get hit by a car, right? I say right...

So lets listen to 'That's My Goal' by Shayne Ward, that will make me success tomorrow... Get up now fellas! Run for your life!!! ^_^

Truth is I'm still in love but I just don't care what others said. Only that, once a while... your heart will cries hard for the one you love. Why I need the most when you can make the most out of me... though you don't care... so do I care?! All I care is I'm fit for my work... ciao! Do I look depress? No! ^_^

P/S: So what with all those pictures? Mmm... I look fine, right? Honestly, I did cry but you know, why share sadness in photos. If we can hide our feeling, so does the photos. That's how celebrities do it... *wink*

5 comments:

Huda said...: Keep running, but make sure you're running towards a better future. Not just simply running away from the past. History is a good way to remember but it's not wrong to forget if it's something that urges us to feel more depressed. Sometimes it's best to not remember at all but at most of the time, its best to recall the situation because it teaches you to be even stronger and wise. Painful but thoughtful and meaningful. Keep going on bro Ayour! We know you're a lot more than what you think you are now. ^^ Change is never a bad thing because every man has their own mistakes and we learn something new everyday. Wallahualam.
P/S: Sometimes we have to let our feelings out rather than striding on its own. Crying is never a bad thing. Especially when remembering our love ones. Al-Fatihah to your beloved mother. ^^; December 23, 2010 at 1:58 AM
Fakhrul Anour said...: Huda: may Allah bless U for every second of your life & I'm seriously honored with your words of advice to me that also shared by others who read this blog. U're definitely has it... a unique strength. Though TQ is not enough... yet TQ is the least I can say to U... ^_^; December 23, 2010 at 11:21 PM
Huda said...: I say, I should be the one showing gratitude to you. Thank you to you bro Ayour! And your token of gratitude saying TQ to me is more than enough to me. AMIN! Such praises for mere words I've shared doesn't belong to me, but Allah for inspiring me to say such things. Huhu. As long as we can all be better together. ^^ We can't be perfect, but at least we can try practicing it and help others achieve it along, as it will make us satisfy and learn to be better too. :)
P/S: I miss my grandparents too. It made me realize that I'm not the only one down with the sadness. But the whole world has even worst gloomy days and stories than I do. But it sure is not wrong to be sad whenever remembering back the good old times spent together with our long gone loved ones. Al-fatihah to them too~ But life must go on at any rate. Make the best of it while you still can. Continue our humble ancestors legacy.; December 24, 2010 at 1:52 AM
Fakhrul Anour said...: Huda:... TQ so much. ^_^; December 25, 2010 at 5:09 PM
Huda said...: Your Welcome again~ ^^; December 25, 2010 at 11:45 PM

MIND OF A COMIC ARTIST

Have you ever thought that a comic artist's mind is much more deeper than anyone of you can ever imagine? This is what makes me complicated & that's why I want you to know me here. What do I have in mind? Something to share before I leave. But thoughts recorded here remain, till terminate... till death do us part.

[MINDA SEORANG ARTIS KOMIK
Pernahkah kau terfikir bahawa minda seorang artis komik begitu mendalam berbanding sesiapa yang kau terbayangkan? Inilah yang membuatkanku rumit & kerana itu aku mahu kau mengenaliku di sini. Apa yang ku fikirkan? Sesuatu untuk dikongsi sebelum aku pergi. Tetapi ingatan-ingatan yang terakam kekal di sini, sehingga padam... hingga maut memisahkan kita.]

SYMBIOTIC OF LOVE

'Being cute doesn't mean you're adorable, being handsome doesn't mean you're tough, being gorgeous doesn't mean you're attractive, being pretty doesn't mean you're sweet! Once again I want to remind you that I'm not taken by anyone physical beauty unless for flirt favor. But if I'm taken by the beauty of your heart, compared to your physical beauty, then I'm glad for the great package of you! Though love doesn't need a package to lure me... '

[SIMBIOTIK CINTA
Tampak genit tidak bermaksud kamu menarik, tampak tampan tidak bermaksud kamu gagah, tampak mengagumkan tidak bermaksud kamu memikat, tampak cantik tidak bermaksud kamu manis! Sekali lagi ku berpesan bahawa aku tidak mudah terpedaya dengan keindahan fizikal sesiapa kecuali atas alasan berpoya-poya. Tetapi jika aku terpikat dengan keindahan hatimu, berbanding keindahan fizikalmu, maka aku bersyukur dengan pakejmu yang hebat! Walaupun cinta tidak perlukan pakej untuk mengumpanku...]

PANDICULATION

There are those who claimed I have the charisma that can attract people to get into the crowd & listen to my words. Yes, I believe I do have such power... alhamdulillah. I can even make people fall in love with me desperately while I'm still walking gracefully towards my dream unassuaged by their sincerity. But this charisma is God's gift, I will not use it by force demand, only by fair request & I agree to fulfill.

[PANDIKULASI
Mereka bilang aku punya karisma yang bisa memikat manusia hadir berkelompok mendengar bicaraku. Ya, aku percaya aku punya kuasa itu... alhamdulillah. Malah aku bisa bikin manusia jatuh cinta padaku sesungguhnya sedang aku terus berjalan penuh gaya ke arah mimpiku, tidak terpujuk oleh ketulusan mereka. Namun karisma ini anugerah-Nya, tidak akan ku rela bila dipaksa, hanya dengan seadil permintaan & aku redha memenuhinya.]

ASPIRATION

You said "Maybe I'm not so lucky in love..." Truth is all those time when you're into someone, it was because of pleasure & admiration. Once you had it, you fell even deeper for the imperfect of perfection & you thought that's true love. Yet such love is breakable, turned you into despair for a pleasure of admiration & blinds your way to see your true love who is waiting in despair yet unbreakable...

[ASPIRASI
Kau berkata "Mungkin aku tidak bertuah dalam cinta..." Sebenarnya ketika kau taksub kepadanya, adalah kerana kesenangan & kekaguman. Bila sudah memiliki, kau merasa yang terdalam dengan ketidaksempurnaan yang sempurna & kau sangka itu cinta sejati. Namun cinta itu amat rapuh, menjadikan kau kecewa pada kesenangan mengagumi & membutakan jalanmu melihat cinta sejati yang sedang menanti dalam kecewa tidak terapuhkan...]

BURLESQUE

"3x I've made love confession & none replied that they love me too, still they stick on me like lovers. But I never stuck on them when being unanswered didn't develop my motivation, though funny how they got miserable for that. More than 3x I heard love confession from others & none I replied, but they stuck on me until they got miserable!"

[BURLA
"3x aku mengaku cinta & tiada seorang pun mengaku yang sama, namun tetap mereka terikat denganku bagaikan kekasih. Namun aku leraikan ikatan itu bila perakuan tanpa sambutan tidak membina motivasiku, walaupun kelakar melihat mereka porak-peranda kerana itu. Lebih daripada 3x aku mendengar perakuan cinta mereka namun tiada satu pun aku sambut, tetapi mereka terus terikat padaku sehingga porak-peranda!"]

INTENTION

"Let me put it this way... you're not God whom I verbally confess my love & I don't expect to get verbal reply, yet my heart still believe I'm loved without doubt cause God don't hate. So if I verbally confess my love to you, don't expect me to believe you love me too if you're not verbally reply me because I couldn't compare you with God!"

[NIAT
"Beginilah... kau bukan Tuhan yang bisaku perakui cintaku secara lisan tanpa mengharap balasan yang sama, namun hatiku masih percaya aku dicintai sesungguhnya kerana Tuhan tidak membenci. Maka jika aku mengaku cinta kepadamu secara lisan, jangan harap aku bisa percaya kau mencintaiku juga tanpa jawapan lisanmu kerana aku tidak tega membandingkanmu dengan Tuhan!"]

SIREN

"I only want to be happy with what I do & if you're not happy with it please help yourself & get out! As far as I know you need help & I need to do my work, so what's it gonna be? Try to ruin my life just because you're not happy with how good my life is not an option to make yourself happy, I promise you'll be worse! Think of spider, ant & bee; I may look easy to be crushed but please doubt the fragility."

[SIREN
Aku hanya ingin bahagia dengan apa yang ku lakukan & jika kau tidak bahagia kerana itu, maka sila bantu dirimu sendiri & keluar! Setahu aku, kau perlukan bantuan & aku perlu laksanakan tugasku, jadi apa kesimpulannya? Cuba menghancurkan hidupku hanya kerana kau tidak bahagia dengan caraku bukan caramu untuk bahagia, percayalah kau pasti merana! Fikirkan lelabah, semut & lebah; aku mungkin kelihatan senang dipijak namun sila ragui kerapuhan itu."]

REGIME

"I recall that a common piece of advice was to restrain oneself from excessive knowledge. Knowledge leads to unhappiness & makes people permanently dissatisfied. I eventually came to realize that the origin of such poisonous belief was some people's desire to have others fall into their power."

"Saya teringat pada satu nasihat yang menahan seseorang daripada ilmu yang berlebihan. Ilmu membawa kepada kesedihan & membuat orang tidak berpuas hati selamanya. Saya akhirnya menyedari bahawa asal-usul kepercayaan beracun itu adalah keinginan sesetengah orang untuk melihat orang lain jatuh ke dalam kuasa mereka."

— Pramoedya Ananta Toer (The Mute's Soliloquy)

IN THE MIND OF A COMIC ARTIST

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

SONGs OF MY SHAME... SILLY ME WRITING!

5 comments:

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