"It's only through writing that I've ever been able to suppress life's personal disappointments. When I can't write I feel anxious and out of sorts and am easily riled, though I'm usually able to control my emotions..."
- Pramoedya Ananta Toer (The Mute's Soliloquy: A Memoir)
["Hanya dengan menulis aku mampu menekan segala kekecewaan peribadi hidup. Bila aku tidak menulis, aku merasa cemas & tidak keruan serta mudah gusar, walau selalunya aku bisa mengawal emosiku..."]

Monday, June 11, 2007


Life needs an escape sometimes. I've been working hard everyday. My mind keeps processing creativity. Everyday I have to deal with a lot of things. So I put myself away from all the juggles. Away from home, away from work. 48 hrs now. At this very moment, I miss my cat at home. I feel like going back. He's been at home since I'm gone. Must be he's feeling lonely. Once I'm back home after this, I'll make sure he can get my full attention. My one & only companion that I can never let go. The most patient being, never scream frantically me. Always this sweet little creature with beautiful voice & soft fur. When I'm home, he will come to me & touch me with tender.

But there's always certain day that I wanted to get away. Being somewhere far from my usual routine. Quality time with myself, doing things that's going to make me a totally different person than just a professional character; who's busy with career & have no time for personal matter.

Last Saturday I went to a rave party (UV Nation) & watched my favorite DJ, Benny Bennassi spin. He was cool! 

Before he appeared on stage, I got a little worried of spending my time in this rave party. I should be at home, concentrating on my work & make a lot of money. 

But once Benny came out, he totally changed my mood. He made me adores him always. Better than his music. In my mind I said "He did what he loves doing, mixing musics." Now, he had this one big crowd of Malaysians who love the way he spins. He's amazing! He took me away from my pain. He wow the crowd! Keep spinning Benny! Love your music!

For 7 years writing for a magazine & still try to find my way becoming one of the most respectable comic artist, not an easy workout. I have to deal with my personal & professional life. Balance it up! My personal life totally different from my professional life. I wonder if I can skip my personal, forget about relationship & appreciate being alone forever.

But anyway... am not alone, I have OGA, my mom, my friends (2 different worlds) & those who cares for me though I hardly know them. This is what so great of being a talented & popular person. You can have anyone though sometimes you feel like "Leave me alone!!".

Ok... I'm satisfied now, throwing over my feeling in my blog. Whoever read this, now you know... I'm just human; There's great, there's fault. Hope after this I can just reduce my fault & keep up with all the great things. 

Today I got the news that GEMPAK™ has been rated A by Harian Metro. I feel great about it, at least a magazine that I've been working on for so long is able to get appreciation from another media. Alhamdulillah! Tomorrow I hope there will be another great achievement...

May Allah bless this magazine forever, change the Malaysians' view so we can be a part of the 1st countries; good in any field include Animation, Comic & Games (ACG). I believe we also can do it... like others can.

I smile through my hardest journey, and cheers through my glory moment.

As long as I hold this body, I will never stop experiencing myself as a human... love being a human, not perfect but can fix the fault only whenever is possible.