IN THE MIND OF A COMIC ARTIST: ESCAPE FEELING

Monday, June 11, 2007

ESCAPE FEELING

Life needs an escape sometimes. I've been working hard everyday. My mind keeps processing creativity. Everyday I have to deal with a lot of things. So I put myself away from all the juggles. Away from home, away from work. 48 hrs now. At this very moment, I miss my cat at home. I feel like going back. He's been at home since I'm gone. Must be he's feeling lonely. Once I'm back home after this, I'll make sure he can get my full attention. My one & only companion that I can never let go. The most patient being, never scream frantically me. Always this sweet little creature with beautiful voice & soft fur. When I'm home, he will come to me & touch me with tender.

But there's always certain day that I wanted to get away. Being somewhere far from my usual routine. Quality time with myself, doing things that's going to make me a totally different person than just a professional character; who's busy with career & have no time for personal matter.

Last Saturday I went to a rave party (UV Nation) & watched my favorite DJ, Benny Bennassi spin. He was cool!

Before he appeared on stage, I got a little worried of spending my time in this rave party. I should be at home, concentrating on my work & make a lot of money.

But once Benny came out, he totally changed my mood. He made me adores him always. Better than his music. In my mind I said "He did what he loves doing, mixing musics." Now, he had this one big crowd of Malaysians who love the way he spins. He's amazing! He took me away from my pain. He wow the crowd! Keep spinning Benny! Love your music!

For 7 years writing for a magazine & still try to find my way becoming one of the most respectable comic artist, not an easy workout. I have to deal with my personal & professional life. Balance it up! My personal life totally different from my professional life. I wonder if I can skip my personal, forget about relationship & appreciate being alone forever.

But anyway... am not alone, I have OGA, my mom, my friends (2 different worlds) & those who cares for me though I hardly know them. This is what so great of being a talented & popular person. You can have anyone though sometimes you feel like "Leave me alone!!".

Ok... I'm satisfied now, throwing over my feeling in my blog. Whoever read this, now you know... I'm just human; There's great, there's fault. Hope after this I can just reduce my fault & keep up with all the great things.

Today I got the news that GEMPAK™ has been rated A by Harian Metro. I feel great about it, at least a magazine that I've been working on for so long is able to get appreciation from another media. Alhamdulillah! Tomorrow I hope there will be another great achievement...

May Allah bless this magazine forever, change the Malaysians' view so we can be a part of the 1st countries; good in any field include Animation, Comic & Games (ACG). I believe we also can do it... like others can.

I smile through my hardest journey, and cheers through my glory moment.

As long as I hold this body, I will never stop experiencing myself as a human... love being a human, not perfect but can fix the fault only whenever is possible.

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MIND OF A COMIC ARTIST

Have you ever thought that a comic artist's mind is much more deeper than anyone of you can ever imagine? This is what makes me complicated & that's why I want you to know me here. What do I have in mind? Something to share before I leave. But thoughts recorded here remain, till terminate... till death do us part.

[MINDA SEORANG ARTIS KOMIK
Pernahkah kau terfikir bahawa minda seorang artis komik begitu mendalam berbanding sesiapa yang kau terbayangkan? Inilah yang membuatkanku rumit & kerana itu aku mahu kau mengenaliku di sini. Apa yang ku fikirkan? Sesuatu untuk dikongsi sebelum aku pergi. Tetapi ingatan-ingatan yang terakam kekal di sini, sehingga padam... hingga maut memisahkan kita.]

SYMBIOTIC OF LOVE

'Being cute doesn't mean you're adorable, being handsome doesn't mean you're tough, being gorgeous doesn't mean you're attractive, being pretty doesn't mean you're sweet! Once again I want to remind you that I'm not taken by anyone physical beauty unless for flirt favor. But if I'm taken by the beauty of your heart, compared to your physical beauty, then I'm glad for the great package of you! Though love doesn't need a package to lure me... '

[SIMBIOTIK CINTA
Tampak genit tidak bermaksud kamu menarik, tampak tampan tidak bermaksud kamu gagah, tampak mengagumkan tidak bermaksud kamu memikat, tampak cantik tidak bermaksud kamu manis! Sekali lagi ku berpesan bahawa aku tidak mudah terpedaya dengan keindahan fizikal sesiapa kecuali atas alasan berpoya-poya. Tetapi jika aku terpikat dengan keindahan hatimu, berbanding keindahan fizikalmu, maka aku bersyukur dengan pakejmu yang hebat! Walaupun cinta tidak perlukan pakej untuk mengumpanku...]

PANDICULATION

There are those who claimed I have the charisma that can attract people to get into the crowd & listen to my words. Yes, I believe I do have such power... alhamdulillah. I can even make people fall in love with me desperately while I'm still walking gracefully towards my dream unassuaged by their sincerity. But this charisma is God's gift, I will not use it by force demand, only by fair request & I agree to fulfill.

[PANDIKULASI
Mereka bilang aku punya karisma yang bisa memikat manusia hadir berkelompok mendengar bicaraku. Ya, aku percaya aku punya kuasa itu... alhamdulillah. Malah aku bisa bikin manusia jatuh cinta padaku sesungguhnya sedang aku terus berjalan penuh gaya ke arah mimpiku, tidak terpujuk oleh ketulusan mereka. Namun karisma ini anugerah-Nya, tidak akan ku rela bila dipaksa, hanya dengan seadil permintaan & aku redha memenuhinya.]

ASPIRATION

You said "Maybe I'm not so lucky in love..." Truth is all those time when you're into someone, it was because of pleasure & admiration. Once you had it, you fell even deeper for the imperfect of perfection & you thought that's true love. Yet such love is breakable, turned you into despair for a pleasure of admiration & blinds your way to see your true love who is waiting in despair yet unbreakable...

[ASPIRASI
Kau berkata "Mungkin aku tidak bertuah dalam cinta..." Sebenarnya ketika kau taksub kepadanya, adalah kerana kesenangan & kekaguman. Bila sudah memiliki, kau merasa yang terdalam dengan ketidaksempurnaan yang sempurna & kau sangka itu cinta sejati. Namun cinta itu amat rapuh, menjadikan kau kecewa pada kesenangan mengagumi & membutakan jalanmu melihat cinta sejati yang sedang menanti dalam kecewa tidak terapuhkan...]

BURLESQUE

"3x I've made love confession & none replied that they love me too, still they stick on me like lovers. But I never stuck on them when being unanswered didn't develop my motivation, though funny how they got miserable for that. More than 3x I heard love confession from others & none I replied, but they stuck on me until they got miserable!"

[BURLA
"3x aku mengaku cinta & tiada seorang pun mengaku yang sama, namun tetap mereka terikat denganku bagaikan kekasih. Namun aku leraikan ikatan itu bila perakuan tanpa sambutan tidak membina motivasiku, walaupun kelakar melihat mereka porak-peranda kerana itu. Lebih daripada 3x aku mendengar perakuan cinta mereka namun tiada satu pun aku sambut, tetapi mereka terus terikat padaku sehingga porak-peranda!"]

INTENTION

"Let me put it this way... you're not God whom I verbally confess my love & I don't expect to get verbal reply, yet my heart still believe I'm loved without doubt cause God don't hate. So if I verbally confess my love to you, don't expect me to believe you love me too if you're not verbally reply me because I couldn't compare you with God!"

[NIAT
"Beginilah... kau bukan Tuhan yang bisaku perakui cintaku secara lisan tanpa mengharap balasan yang sama, namun hatiku masih percaya aku dicintai sesungguhnya kerana Tuhan tidak membenci. Maka jika aku mengaku cinta kepadamu secara lisan, jangan harap aku bisa percaya kau mencintaiku juga tanpa jawapan lisanmu kerana aku tidak tega membandingkanmu dengan Tuhan!"]

SIREN

"I only want to be happy with what I do & if you're not happy with it please help yourself & get out! As far as I know you need help & I need to do my work, so what's it gonna be? Try to ruin my life just because you're not happy with how good my life is not an option to make yourself happy, I promise you'll be worse! Think of spider, ant & bee; I may look easy to be crushed but please doubt the fragility."

[SIREN
Aku hanya ingin bahagia dengan apa yang ku lakukan & jika kau tidak bahagia kerana itu, maka sila bantu dirimu sendiri & keluar! Setahu aku, kau perlukan bantuan & aku perlu laksanakan tugasku, jadi apa kesimpulannya? Cuba menghancurkan hidupku hanya kerana kau tidak bahagia dengan caraku bukan caramu untuk bahagia, percayalah kau pasti merana! Fikirkan lelabah, semut & lebah; aku mungkin kelihatan senang dipijak namun sila ragui kerapuhan itu."]

REGIME

"I recall that a common piece of advice was to restrain oneself from excessive knowledge. Knowledge leads to unhappiness & makes people permanently dissatisfied. I eventually came to realize that the origin of such poisonous belief was some people's desire to have others fall into their power."

"Saya teringat pada satu nasihat yang menahan seseorang daripada ilmu yang berlebihan. Ilmu membawa kepada kesedihan & membuat orang tidak berpuas hati selamanya. Saya akhirnya menyedari bahawa asal-usul kepercayaan beracun itu adalah keinginan sesetengah orang untuk melihat orang lain jatuh ke dalam kuasa mereka."

— Pramoedya Ananta Toer (The Mute's Soliloquy)

IN THE MIND OF A COMIC ARTIST

Monday, June 11, 2007

ESCAPE FEELING

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