"It's only through writing that I've ever been able to suppress life's personal disappointments. When I can't write I feel anxious and out of sorts and am easily riled, though I'm usually able to control my emotions..."
- Pramoedya Ananta Toer (The Mute's Soliloquy: A Memoir)
["Hanya dengan menulis aku mampu menekan segala kekecewaan peribadi hidup. Bila aku tidak menulis, aku merasa cemas & tidak keruan serta mudah gusar, walau selalunya aku bisa mengawal emosiku..."]

Sunday, December 20, 2009

THE RIGHT KIND OF WRONG

I live through my childhood,
By the hood of imaginary friends,
When friends played around the neighborhood,
I didn’t realized I was playing alone,
Yet I felt happy among the non-existed,
I thought I was special when exactly…
I was not special at all.

I was praised, I am confuse,
I was envied, I am clueless,
I was loved, I am misled,
I was needed, I am hopeless,
Yet I felt happy to find it all so amusing,
I thought I was special when exactly…
I was not meant to be special.

They call me a genius,
Yet my dear said with a stupidity,
They call me a philosopher,
Yet my mother said I’m saying nonsense,
They call me a breakthrough,
Yet my father hardly call my name,
Yet I felt happy to be quoted in so many ways,
I thought I was special when exactly…
I have no reason to be special.

In this brain of mine,
Lies a mind with a trigger,
A trigger that holds the sense of my body,
A trigger I wish is in my control but yet it is not,
Yet I felt happy when no such trigger existed,
I thought I was special when exactly…
I’ve triggered myself to be special.

But why am I not completely myself?
Am I mentally disturbed?
But why am I rationally involved?
Why am I always right in reasons?
Why I feel betrayed by my own brain?
Yet I feel happy when why is nothing but a question,
I thought I was special when exactly…
Why I thought I was special?

Let alone if you feel disturbed,
Yes I’m complicated…
Yes I’m unpredictable…
Yes I’m not suppose to be here.

Still I believe in Him,
Let Him one day explain,
For I am just another human He created,
I thought I was special when exactly…
He made me to be special.


That’s me,
The right kind of wrong.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

PERTAMA KALI SEBAGAI MODERATOR PANEL LUAR NEGARA

Alhamdulillah... hari ini akhirnya Ayour berjaya menyelesaikan salah 1 misi paling sukar pernah dibuat (setiap kali menjadi 1st timer!) sepanjang bergelar penyunting/artis komik/penulis/novelis GEMPAK STARZ™. Hari ni Ayour menjadi moderator bagi 1 sesi panel MSC Malaysia Kre8tif Digital Content Conference berjudul 'Bringing Heroes from Pages to Eyeballs' & tugas yang disangka payah (maklum ler semua 3 panel speakers sememangnya otai berbanding diri ini yang baru 9 tahun dalam industri... >_<) jadi seronok! Trimas tak terhingga kepada 3 ahli panel yang menjadikan sesi ini berjalan lancar tanpa sedikitpun nampak kaku. Yang penting setiap ahli panel berjaya menyampaikan persembahan masing² sebelum sempat sesiapa pun merasa bosan & tanpa perlu ditegur, diorang boleh ukur waktu sendiri. Syabas!

Semenjak difahamkan Ayour akan menjadi moderator, pelbagai kebimbangan bermain di fikiran. Baca segala macam artikel yang dirasakan berkait dengan 'Bringing Heroes from Pages to Eyeballs'. Tetapi bila 15 minit sebelum sesi bertemu dengan ahli panel sambil mengenalkan diorang antara 1 sama lain, terus rasa cool habesss! Dapat sticker karakter daripada Mr. Si-Bum Kim, moeeee!

Trimas Mr. Suresh Seetharaman, Mr. Si-Bum Kim & En. Norman KRU dengan kerjasama yang diberikan. Menjadikan tugas Ayour lebih mudah... (takyah Q&A sesi diorang sudah menjawab hampir semua persoalan! Memang profesional habesss!!!)

Persidangan Isian Digital Kre8tif! MSC Malaysia (MSC Malaysia Kre8tif! Digital Content Conference) yang mula berlangsung pada 7hb. Disember 2009 menyaksikan penglibatan hampir 500 delegasi & ahli panel. Dianjurkan oleh Multimedia Development Corporation/MDeC, ia menampilkan pameran² syarikat berkaitan, pemacu kerjaya & 3 kelas² master yang memfokus kepada pelbagai aspek produksi isian digital.

MSC Malaysia Kre8tif Digital Contents Conference

Hari ini (9hb. Disember 2009) Ayour akan menjalankan tugas sebagai moderator untuk sesi panel berjudul 'Bringing Heroes from Pages to Eyeballs' bagi MSC Malaysia Kre8tif Digital Content Coference kat Courtyard Royale Chulan Hotel, KL. Ahli panel yang bakal Ayour ketuai bagi sesi ni ialah;

Suresh Seetharaman
Perintis bersama & Presiden, Virgin Comics & Virgin Animation (Bangalore, New York)

*juga merupakan perintis bersama & Ketua Pegawai Operasi bagi Gotham Entertainment Group, penerbit komik terbesar di Asia Selatan. Dia mengawasi operasi antarabangsa termasuk produksi, pengedaran, promosi & jualan.

* Pengalaman jawatan yang pernah dipegang termasuk sebagai Naib Presiden Senior & Pengarah Eksekutif Clarion McCann serta Pengarah Kreatif Tempatan J Walter Thompson India. Dia gak merupakan Pengarah Perintis Creative Works, kedai-laris kreatif yang telah membangunkan & membina jenama² terulung di rantau Asia-Pasifik.

Di tahun 2005, Sharad Devarajan & Suresh Seetharaman bekerjasama dengan Gotham Chopra mencipta mitologi baru yang membawa kebangkitan semula dalam hiburan karacter India. Disertai kreativiti Deepak Chopra & Shekhar Kapur, mereka membentuk Virgin Comics di bawah kumpulan syarikat Virgin milik Sir Richard Branson.


Objektif Virgin Comics/Virgin Animation adalah mencipta pelantar bagi mempamerkan bakat kreatif terbesar yang telah mendominasi negara² Asia Tenggara. Mereka percaya dengan visi negara Timur berpotensi mengrevolusikan budaya industri hiburan.


Si-Bum Kim
Founder and CEO at Characterline Korea (Seoul)

Ikon paling berpengaruh & dihormati dalam industri animasi Korea, menggabungkan pembangunan polisi industri & produksi kreatif. Cukup aktif dalam pelbagai bidang. Selain perniagaannya sendiri, dia juga merupakan pengerusi sebuah syarikat internet yang menyediakan perisian mencipta animasi 3D secara online & penasihat sebuah syarikat IT yang menghasilkan Golf Range Finder.

• Dia merupakan penasihat senior KOTRA (Korea Trade & Investment Promotion Agency) iaitu agensi kerajaan bagi mempromosikan bisnes antarabangsa antara Korea & lain² negara. Kini dia menjadi penasihat KOCCA (Korea Culture Contents Agency) iaitu agensi kerajaan Korea yang bertanggung-jawab mempromosikan bisnes buday Korea termasuk karakter, animasi, filem, muzik, mainan & sebagainya. Dia pernah menyelia latihan di banyak negara termasuk Jepun, Taiwan, Denmark, Bangladesh, Uzbekistan, Mongolia & Korea sendiri.

• Beliau berkhidmat sebagai pensyarah tambahan perniagaan di Hanyang Business Graduate School & kini mengajar International E-Commerce, International Marketing for Culture Business, Character Planning & Creating di Hanyang University.

• Dia turun membangunkan program latihan Leadership Academy; menyelia kursus 'Intellectual Property Marketing' di KOCCA serta pembantu pengarang 2 buah buku; 'Introduction of Cultural Contents & Becoming CEO' dan 'Idea & Guts at Twenties'.
Dia merupakan perintis Characterline Inc. (http://www.characterline.com) yang mencipta, mengurus & memasarkan IP (Intellectual Property) termasuk karakter, animasi, komik, kartun, termasuklah perlesenan & barangan merangkumi cetak, penyiaran, online, bimbit & taman² rekreasi.

Norman Abd Halim
President / Group CEO, KRU Studios

Dengan visi & kepimpinan strategik, dia telah menguasai kejayaan demi kejayaan, meletakkan kombinasi skilnya yang unik, bakat & kecerdasan perniagaan teruji. Pelbagai pencapaian tertingginya memungkin dia menerima anuerah Outstanding Entrepreneur Award in 2007 daripada Asia Pacific Entrepreneur Awards. Kini selepas lebih 15 tahun, beliau telah menganjak syarikat ke hadapan dalam dunia media & hiburan tidak kira secara domestik mahupun luar negara. Kepakarannya turut diperlukan oleh organisasi² lain yang secara tidak langsung refleks daripada peranan yang dipegangnya dalam pelbagai persatuan termasuk Naib Pengerusi Industri Rakaman Malaysia, Pengerusi Anti Cetak Rompak untuk Persatuan Penerbit² Filem Malaysia serta Lembaga Pengarah Festival Filem Antarabangsa KL & Persembahan Awam Malaysia.

Persidangan Isian Digital Kre8tif! MSC Malaysia (MSC Malaysia Kre8tif! Digital Content Conference) yang mula berlangsung pada 7hb. Disember 2009 menyaksikan penglibatan hampir 500 delegasi & ahli panel. Dianjurkan oleh Multimedia Development Corporation/MDeC, ia menampilkan pameran² syarikat berkaitan, pemacu kerjaya & 3 kelas² master yang memfokus kepada pelbagai aspek produksi isian digital.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

WHAT'S FAME TO A GREAT WRITER? THIS IS IT...

"What is fame if not a social manifestation... or should I say social effluence? Look at the famed prostitutes of today's world, those men and women who through the successful use of their skills have found the upward path to glamor and luxury. Have they ever had their civil rights stolen from them or had to suffer officially sanctioned humiliation and oppression? No, because of their fame, diplomats and head of states open their arms wide to bid them a proud welcome. Fame trumps all political and moral qualms.

When I was your age one of my teachers was the writer Mara Soetan, a fairly well-known man in his day and age. All the students stood in awe of him. Though he was never a large man, his body seemed to have grown smaller with age. His face was shrunken but his eyes, peering from behind his gold-framed spectacles, sparkled and shined. It was he who taught me that everything a person comes to know is the product of what that person does with his life."

* Taken from 'THE MUTE'S SOLILOQUY', a memoir of Pramoedya Ananta Toer [chapter: Natant Ruminations (A letter for Pujarosmi)]

PRAMOEDYA ANANTA TOER

(2nd. Februari 1925 - 30th April 2006)

Personal note: Beside Buya Hamka, this is one of many writers from Indonesia that my late mother like to follow & her favourite was 'Keluarga Gerilya', a book I read at the age of 6 but if my memory doesn't misled me, I only happened to finish the book at the age of 12. That was the first of his writing I read & second was 'Sekali Peristiwa di Banten Selatan', others of his writing I can't remember much, but still until today his story has become a forever landmark for my skill of writing.