"It's only through writing that I've ever been able to suppress life's personal disappointments. When I can't write I feel anxious and out of sorts and am easily riled, though I'm usually able to control my emotions..."
- Pramoedya Ananta Toer (The Mute's Soliloquy: A Memoir)
["Hanya dengan menulis aku mampu menekan segala kekecewaan peribadi hidup. Bila aku tidak menulis, aku merasa cemas & tidak keruan serta mudah gusar, walau selalunya aku bisa mengawal emosiku..."]

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

LOVE MYSELF THE BEST DEAL

a friend now from far distance once told me...

You know, you are an achiever. No matter how deep you fell, and how many time I saw you fell, until today I can only see you rise and achieve. Even now, most of us think you're a failure for having so much plan, yet none of us believe what we are saying about you as a failure is true. You know why? Because whenever we think of what you have done so far and so true, is real!

You hated school, you hated boarding school! You hated all the rules at school until you were depressed that you had to succumb with it. You hated the social lifestyle at school, you said it was so childish! Funny how you hated all of that but still you made a lot friends and everybody loves you. Even what is so surprise about you.... you're a degree holder.

I never imagine you as a sport man. I never thought of you as being tough, a track runner or even a strong spiker of volleyball. I remember how you complaint about those coaches who believed you could be at the first spot in sports when you yourself didn't believe your own power. You said you hated them for believing in what you didn't believe. You hated sports and its rules yet you followed, became the vice president of a sport association and here I'm looking at a sporty guy... still looks young and healthy. Now I can imagine why everytime you play at the court with new friends, none of them believe you're sporty until you proved them wrong, because you're sporty for yourself, right?

I never believe you can make people believe you could represent school or campus or Malaysia in anything, but you did. You even made your employers proud of having you and funny how to say this... you even represent Malaysia to talk about the subject you love so much, comic in culture growth to 13 delegates of Asian countries. I heard you even got invited to their countries to talk about your subject but you hate flying, you hate to confirm the fact that you hated to stand at the podium standing like a politician. I know how much you hated looking at the crowd, to the people who are listening to you and wonder maybe one or two of them had a point to use you for their own personal profit while taking you for granted. I know how you hate people's perception can do wrong to what's so right about you.

You hate love affair but funny how you had so much experience with it yet you've become stronger at every heartbreak.

Why are you still doing what you hate of doing?


So I answered him this...

"To do what I love doing, I have to be at any situation I don't like. I love drawing comics and I love writing stories about life, my dream is only these two, those talents are my life. Where in this world can I be at a place I like? Except if I can be with my talents. So if holding a degree can make me wiser with my talents, I have to do it. If being active in sports can make me brighter with my talents, why waste it. If sharing with others about my talents can do them good, why should I shy away about it. If love is what makes me loyal to my talents, why bother for being heartbroken? My point is simple, to hate everything is to love one thing... myself. Sounds selfish? Well, that's how I love everything instead of hate."

2 comments:

muhammadbobo said...

"to hate everything is to love one thing"
-ini cool bro.

Fakhrul 'Ayour' Anour said...

Thanx bro... ^_^
from His blessing we are able to deliver cool words. What else can I say... alhamdulillah!