"It's only through writing that I've ever been able to suppress life's personal disappointments. When I can't write I feel anxious and out of sorts and am easily riled, though I'm usually able to control my emotions..."
- Pramoedya Ananta Toer (The Mute's Soliloquy: A Memoir)
["Hanya dengan menulis aku mampu menekan segala kekecewaan peribadi hidup. Bila aku tidak menulis, aku merasa cemas & tidak keruan serta mudah gusar, walau selalunya aku bisa mengawal emosiku..."]

Sunday, May 23, 2010


To all my dearest friends & fans,

Since I was very young until I passed my teenage years, drawing comic has become my very close friend to express my feeling, thought & loneliness. Then when I started a career in Malaysia Comic Industry, comic has become something more than just personal to me—it has become my only source of income that’s involved business. But the beginning of my career in the industry didn’t turned out as I expected, instead of being a comic artist I’ve become a writer for the industry itself. My job mainly focuses on my editorial skill to speak accordingly about the comic industry, from local to global. Yet I still have my chance to draw comic as a freelancer but it didn’t do any good as I grow wiser; my strength, purpose & will drained out as my energy started to weaken because of multiple tasks I had to commit for the industry in such a way.

After my late mother was diagnosed cancer final stage early September 2009, my purpose to move on doing what I do best meant nothing anymore & all I ever wanted was an escape. She was the first reason why I didn’t break down heavily throughout the years of my multi-tasking career. Yet when I found out behind her back that she had cancer stage 4, I was nothing but empty. I locked myself in my room for a day felt totally blank.

Money was never my first worry in life because she always reminded me not to be afraid of it because with your strength, money we can conquer. But it was a total loneliness what I was afraid of! Because so far in my life, the only person I would call for no reason was her. The only person I would worry if the phone was not picked up was her. The only person I was not ashamed to be pampered was her & the reason for who I am as how you know of me today, was her. All of sudden, she gone too soon & no way I could communicate with her anymore through phone or face to face.

Since little my life is all about have fun with life while reaching for my dream & I had 2 dreams; first a dream that I wish to be & second a dream I wish not to be. Now I’ve completely got both of the dreams; a dream to be acceptable in the Malaysia Comic Industry & totally alone walking this earth without someone my heart can count intimately personal.

Still NO REGRET, we are not alone & I am not alone because I still have friends around, offline or online. But most importantly I still have myself who is able to let go of my ego, especially during my crucial financial instability. As my late mother used to say to me, with my strength, money we can conquer. So I will let my strength judge my will to survive & by doing so, I’m going back to my close friend—drawing comic, a strength that has been in me since I was little.

All I need now is patience & courage, so if you find me running slower than you’ve ever seen me running for the past 10 years in the industry, it is because I am testing my patience & courage. If 10 years ago I start in the industry as ‘THE RIGHT KIND OF WRONG’ personality, now I want to restart again for being ‘THE WRONG KIND OF RIGHT’… as a freelance comic artist begin with no other than GEMPAK STARZ™, one place I can never surrender.

Thank you for the past 10 years & forward… ^_^

"DUDE... AM I GAY?!"

During my crucial moments faced my mother's death, FACEBOOK had been my closest friend & without doubt everyone in it, now & then. As gratitude over such a unique friendship networking system, I've decided to place my personal comic strips to be enjoyed by my friends in my FACEBOOK. Something I call as my 'MOTIVATION JUNKY' in drawing comic. ^_^

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