"It's only through writing that I've ever been able to suppress life's personal disappointments. When I can't write I feel anxious and out of sorts and am easily riled, though I'm usually able to control my emotions..."
- Pramoedya Ananta Toer (The Mute's Soliloquy: A Memoir)
["Hanya dengan menulis aku mampu menekan segala kekecewaan peribadi hidup. Bila aku tidak menulis, aku merasa cemas & tidak keruan serta mudah gusar, walau selalunya aku bisa mengawal emosiku..."]

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


At the age of 35 maybe it is stupid of me to question about 'Love at First Sight' when I had it with my first love at the age of 13 who happened to be a major reason for my educational success today. But had it at the age of 13 compares to age 35, the situation has totally changed. When I had it at the tender age of 13, I was still naive & the feeling made me more energetic. Asked for nothing, I bore the love for anything in the world to be with my lover, even when we had to live separately for years until only at the age of 18 we were able to pursue a short live together before we had our first break-up a year later. Then another break up in 2002 followed by final break-up in 2004. But since our first break-up, I had already started love game with many others though no one could ever replace the beauty of my first love.

Ok, falling in love is just a normal moment for anyone but 'Love at First Sight' is not normal. At the age of 35, I happened to see this moment as something paranormal. I suppose to realize myself as an adult & a wise man by judging matters correctly.

Sadly when it striked again, I took a wrong turn by pointing out warnings to the person as if that can make the feeling wash away. Sadly, it has become a mental disorder phenomenon to me & to the person (I sense!) where no psychologist can determine any proper medication except... CONFESS! But to the victims, history taught us to play secure, so confession is not a secure act. So here I am, study about 'Love at First Sight'...

As a professional writer, it is my duty to share my study to my readers. Maybe it will get me nowhere with my 'Love at First Sight', but at least I've make an effort to see a clear view of what is it about & why it happens.

Many poets & critics all around the world quoted 'Love at First Sight' as 'The Most Powerful Type of Love' & I couldn't agree more. While a classical interpretation of the phenomenon is found in Plato's Symposium in Aristophanes' description of the separation of primitive double-creatures into modern men and women and their subsequent search for their missing half: "... when [a lover] ... is fortunate enough to meet his other half, they are both so intoxicated with affection, with friendship, and with love, that they cannot bear to let each other out of sight for a single instant."

When you fall in ‘Love at First Sight’ you are usually ready and willing to fall in love. Less possibility that it will happen if you are tired, stressed, solving problems in your mind. Of course the main part in falling in love is given to the appearance, voice, gestures, smell. One person intuitively searches in the other the qualities and the feature to complete him/her.

No doubt beautiful people attract attention the most, but sometimes it’s wrong to fall in love with them easily because those people are experiencing much attention from the people of the other sex all the time and your delightful reaction may simply have no answers.

Scientist claim that we pay much attention to what our eyes and ears tell us but on the subconscious level the way the person senses play a very big part in his or her expression on us although we don’t recognize it.

Meanwhile in psychology study, research has shown two bases for love at first sight. The first is that the attractiveness of a person can be very quickly determined, with the average time in one study being 0.13 seconds. The second is that the first few minutes of a relationship have shown to be predictive of the relationship's future success, more so than what two people have in common or whether they like each other.

Let say this is just a coincidence, but in my experience, falling in love is a situation of coincidence that happens most of the time when an attraction caught your attention which soon you can let it passes by. Different with 'Love at First Sight', the coincidence last longer than life itself. As I'm still in love with my first, falling in love with the others were nothing but filling up the emptiness with my wisdom to live & be success in life comes with my logic to survive. But when I get caught in 'Love at First Sight', my logic turns to become illogical as my wisdom to live & be success in life now mean for the purpose of love rather than just surviving.

To sum up everything, I just have to agree with myself by taking this feeling as how I took it when I was 13. It may be wrong but that was what made me alive & still kicking today, now it happens twice… I should be able to have a second live & kicking twice as better than yesterday.

I love you… that is all I can say.

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